Netherlands/Culture Integration

Culture & Integration (work in progress)

In addition to the general Cultural adaptation tips, in the Netherlands, the following things might be important:

Cultural Differences between NL and US

While every culture has its quirks, there are several Dutchisms that are at specific odds with US culture, so it helps to be aware of them ahead of time.

• Dutch tolerance is mostly based on a sense of societal compliance: “just be normal, then you’re weird enough” is an often used Dutch saying.
• Dutch communication leans very direct to the point of bluntness: while usually meant for honesty and efficiency, it can be hurtful when not accustomed to these societal standards.
• While some personal space is respected, Dutch people will generally be much closer to each other in a queue or while moving through public space than is standard in the US.
• Dutch non-verbal greetings, when more familiar than a handshake but not close enough for a hug, tend to take the form of three kisses on alternating cheeks, making contact with said cheeks: only between two women or a man and a woman, two men will handshake.
• Dutch houses often have curtains that are either missing, not fully covering the windows or often left open during the day, allowing anyone closeby to peek inside at people's personal items and activities.
• Dutch tend to plan social events many weeks and many months in advance: any attempts at spontaneous hang outs are likely to be thwarted by the strong calendar/agenda habits.
• When invited over to a Dutch person's home, check if you can join them for lunch/dinner/etc or are expected to leave and do something for yourself. Sharing a meal is not a default part of a home invitation.
• When sharing meals, whether going out to eat or eating at someone's home, remember that "going Dutch" is a saying for a reason: check if you're expected to pay for your part of the food. Tikkie is a much used app for quick paying back money requests.
• Dutch eating habits involve many sandwiches, including for breakfast and lunch. But typical Dutch sandwiches are very sparse compared to US standards. Just two slices of bread with butter and a single cold cut or slice of cheese: don't expect multiple slices or any condiments/greens.
• Be prepared to find raisins in all your desserts. Especially the apple tart.
• Dutch holidays in December include Sinterklaas on December 5th, followed by 1st Christmas Day on the 25th and 2nd Christmas Day on the 26th, and New Year's Eve ("Oud en Nieuw" i.e. old and new) on the 31st; Christmas Eve is not usually celebrated as a holiday.
• When it's your birthday, Dutch coworkers will expect you to treat them to cake or cookies or something similar, rather than the other way around.
• When you're invited to a Dutch birthday party, traditionally this takes the shape of everyone sitting in a circle, where every new arrival is expected to go around the circle to shake everyone's hand or do the three cheek kisses, while congratulating them for the mutual connection's birthday.
• When you're in an older Dutch house, you may run into toilets with a built-in shelf, rather than leading directly into water.

Cultural Attitudes Toward Trans People

Societal Acceptance

In general, the Dutch are very tolerant of queer and trans people. Accepting that trans people exist and should have rights is a mainstream belief that has been enshrined into Dutch law. Sometimes that acceptance can be a bit cooler one-on-one, especially when it comes to interpersonal relationships such as friendship and dating. In general, you may find that tolerance does not equal celebration or enthusiastic welcome. But remember -- some of that is simply because the Dutch are more reserved than Americans. Tolerance over celebration applies to more than just trans and queer acceptance.

Compared to other European countries, queer and trans Netherlanders report that they are more open about their identities, face less discrimination and prejudice, are better supported and accepted in school, and are happier with how their government is combating prejudice. The reported rates of violence and harassment are on par with the rest of Europe. EU LGBTI Survey II Country Data -- Netherlands

However, anti-trans propaganda is a world-wide issue and the Dutch are not immune. Some backsliding on trans acceptance has been reported as you can read here - Netherlands becoming less tolerant on trans, non-binary rights: survey. Note that this change may be on par with the rest of Europe, and is certainly much better than the situation in the United States.

If you want to dive into specific surveys and data points for societal acceptance there is a wealth of information here:

• Statista LGBTQIA+ in the Netherlands- Statistics & Facts

Historical Context

WORK IN PROGRESS

The first gay rights demonstrations in the Netherlands took place in 1969 and 1970. The first took place in the Hague and was about discrepancies in consent laws. The second took place in Amsterdam and was about commemorating gay war victims. The first Gay Pride Parade in the Netherlands took place in 1977 and since 1979 has been called Pink Saturday. Amsterdam Pride and the Canal Parade first took place in 1996.

Starting in 1985 trans Netherlanders could change their gender on their passport if they had undergone sterilization. After years of work by patient associations and activists, the law was changed in 2014 requiring only a ‘statement of expertise’ to change one’s passport. In 2018 the law was changed again, offering M,F, and X genders on passports. In 2020 the Dutch government publicly apologized for how it had treated trans Netherlanders and a compensation of €5,000 per person was offered for those sterilized under the previous policies. In the present day, the Netherlands has a law on self determination, meaning you can choose your gender marker and given names, once a year and after a three months waiting period. However the conservative and far right parties are in power and things might change in the future.

The Dutch pioneered the use of puberty blockers for trans adolescents. This was standardized as the "Dutch Protocol" in 2006.

Bureaucracy & Paperwork

Navigating Dutch Bureaucracy

• The "3 Visit Rule" - A rule of thumb to avoid frustration when dealing with Dutch municipalities (gemeente in Dutch), is to approach any task with the assumption that it will take 3 visits to accomplish. This comes primarily due to lack of knowledge of processes, rules, and requirements by local municipality employees. Employees of the municipality will often request documentation or artifacts that are not listed on the government websites, required a follow up visit. Approaching these interactions with this assumption in mind can reduce frustration and help with planning

• Common Challenges: Overview of potential hurdles and how to overcome them.

Learning Dutch

Learning Dutch is a requirement if you'd like to become a Dutch citizen, however especially in the bigger cities it's not particularly necessary, as most people will speak English (it's mandatory for all Dutch school children). However, if you'd still like to learn Dutch, keep your eye out for NT2 courses (Nederlands als tweede taal, or Dutch as a second language). Here are a few resources:

• Duolingo offers online Dutch courses for free with ads. The learning approach isn't the best for everyone, but it's easy to open the app and go.
• DuoCards offers online Dutch vocab flashcards for free with ads. The learning approach isn't the best for everyone, but it's easy to open the app and go.
• The Volksuniversiteit is a kind of community college that offers reasonably-priced NT2 courses in person. Most big cities have their own Volksuniversiteit.
• The Dutch Language Cafe is a cafe in Den Haag offering community-oriented classes, workshops, and one-on-one chats in Dutch for people looking to learn the language.
• TUDelft is a cafe in Delft offering community-oriented classes, workshops, and one-on-one chats in Dutch for people looking to learn the language.
• There are a lot of meetups on https://www.meetup.com that can help you learn or practice Dutch.
• Regina Coeli Language Institute offers intensive language courses. While this is now a fully-independent language institute, going to learn here was called "going to the Nuns of Vught."

One interesting thing to note: the Dutch don't really expect foreigners to learn the language and are often very eager to switch to English the moment they hear an accent. While this is meant to be helpful, this can also make it very hard to practice Dutch to learn! It helps to have a few people willing to stick to Dutch with you to practice. You can also get a free button "Spreek Nederlands met mij" ("Speak Dutch with me") to signal to people not to switch to English.

Note

Copied from the general Cultural adaptation tips to highlight for awareness when doing research:

Beware of unregulated monetized advice online. This includes people selling you services and resources or people creating content for social media platforms. Also be aware that people visiting a country or living there without the intention to stay there are going to have different experiences than people who are planning to make the country their home. The best way to have an experience that is good for you and the people around you is to treat your new country as your new home, even if you think your stay will be temporary.